
This could be you! Don’t miss out on all the fun.

Friends, the thought struck me the other day that Australia is a nothing nation. Sure, we are good at sport and we have kangaroos but other that that we’re small cheese in the world hierarchy.
I looked around at other nations for some guide as to what to do, especially at the world’s leading nation. As a result I came to the conclusion that the way to move up in the world pecking order is to put together a large army then wage war on foreign countries, especially those that have scarce resources.
What follows are some recommendations which will help to get Australia out of its embarrassing minor status and into the big league.
PREPARING AUSTRALIA FOR WAR.
There are several things we must do quickly. First we must get our fun-loving, beer-drinking citizens to think that war is good, that war is necessary, that Australia is a bonfire on the hill.
We need to start in kindergarten, show war movies with John Wayne and Arnie the Terminator in them, get children to stop their play and understand that war is good, that war is necessary, that there exist Evil Nations that envy our lifestyle and want to take it from us and that we have to smash them, quickly reduce their lands to rubble.
As the work begins with children, we need to run a parallel course for adults, show the same movies to them, make violent video games free, introduce knuckle dusters into all football codes, perhaps even clubs so that the oval is splashed with blood and the people scream for more as they once did in Ancient Rome.
Then we need to turn most of our manufacturing industries into armament manufacturers. To hell with making cars and tennis racquets! What are we? Wussies!
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