OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT.
"President Palin, thanks for allowing this interview, your first since taking over from…"
"Let’s not look backward. What’s done is done. God works in mysterious ways. I can’t talk for long, my beautician is coming."
"What was your reaction when you got the call?"
" I was looking through my window at Russia when the phone rang. I was thinking it looked much smaller than it does on the map. I was also wondering what to have for…the polar bear roast or the moose ribs."
"And how does it feel to be in the hot seat?"
"Well, I’m pretty shapely so the chair is fine though I’d prefer something in pastel colours, perhaps off-green or blue."
"And the large sign on your desk, is it to be your…?
"Everyone needs a motto, something to live by, something like: IN GOD WE TRUST."
"But Bomb-Bomb…"
"What has made America great is its role as peacemaker and its free markets and its faith. That’s why we consume most of the world’s resources. Bombing brings peace. Drilling brings wealth. And praying, why there’s nothing between God and Americans. We’re his chosen children."
"But President Palin, don’t the Jews…"
"Just a moment…the phone…hullo, Sarah here. What? Iran! That pesky little nation again. How soon can we get all our warships into the gulf? What do you mean, ‘it’ll be too crowded?’ Walk softly and carry a big club, I say. What about nukes? Civilian deaths! Who cares. You can’t eat an egg and not break the shell my mother used to say. See to it, will you. By Saturday. I want Sunday clear for church. I’m doing the Bible reading. Something about peace I think. Bye. Sorry, where was I? Oh, yes, the Jews. They’ve occupied the top spot for far too long. They’re second to Americans now! Sarah says."
"President Palin, did you just say that Iran should be nuked?"
"Read the sign. What part of it don’t you understand?"
‘Does that wink mean that you’re only bluffing."
"Have you seen the moose head on the wall over there? He thought I was bluffing too."
"What are you going to do about our enormous debt, Madame President?"
"Call me Mrs President. I’m married. And I’ve got five children. We may have to extend the White House. Our debt? Why we just borrow some more while we print more money. That’s what made this nation so great, borrowing and printing. It creates credit, endless credit and more wide-screen televisions and soon everyone’s rich."
"But many people are doing it tough. Some are starving, others are homeless."
"Bleating. There’s always bleating. When I was a sports reporter I always said the secret was to keep your eye on the ball. Some people can’t. Folk like that are not my responsibility. Look at me – beauty queen to President. I’m a living fairytale. There’s lots of bucks to be made in America and it’s up to you to do it. If you fail it’s your fault. The Lord giveth, he taketh away! Free markets forever. God Bless America. Excuse me…what…she’s here! Good. She knows all the Hollywood goss. It’s so interesting, unlike this government stuff. Sorry, Mr…er, reporter, I have to go now. I’m having my eyebrows done and if they’re not perfect I’ll be cranky all day and you never know where that might lead. Where’s that red button again?"
"Next to your sign. Thank you, Mrs President."
"No need to bow. I wonder if ‘Your Majesty’ mightn’t be better?"
David,
Kinda just a rant… you ok?
Q
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Q, the subtleties of satire are obviously lost on you. Must be working for that Fortune 500 company!
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Ha Ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha..
ha ha!
I repeat myself.
I love humor with substance.
Right on again, David!
God bless America.
They need it.
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I think we who live in the non-American world need the blessing, Adina!
Cheers.
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Quick one, again, inspired by your post, David.
Serendipity
The American dream…
Starts at cheerleaders’ gym.
While the others clap, clap
All SHE wants: reach the top.
The American dream…
ALL on Bible are keen.
At the cheer leader show
Skirts are short. PRAY they bow.
The American dream…
Built on what’s NOT WHITIN.
For the boy, grab the bat
For the GIRL, get on TOP.
The American dream…
Getting crowned beauty queen
And if asked: “ what ‘s your faith?”
“Polar bear is The Threat!”
The American dream…
At the White House begin.
If you’ve made it so far
Who can judge your CIGAR?
The American dream…
Now it’s more than has been.
With that mother of five
Sleep American, sleep TIGHT.
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An interesting collage of images, Adina, which hint at rather than spell out some worrying conclusions. Well done!
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Only in America. The only capacity this women should be allowed into the White House for, is as the cleaner.
When you consider what the last administration has done to the U.S. and Palin and McCain being clones of Bush and Cheney, that they would entertain putting tweedle dumb, and tweedle dumber in the most powerful position on the planet, beggars belief.
The very sad part is,Palin like Bush,is so isolated from the real world,she would have to be shown where Russia or indeed Iran is on the map by her minders.How this women became the Governor of Alaska in my opinion can be explained by the makers of Monty Python..
“I’m a lumber Jack and I’m alright” yada yada yada.
Still despairing.
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There is much to despair about, Phill.
The astounding thing is that most Americans have no idea what is happening to them or their country. It’s as though, in the main, they’ve lost touch with reality.
The American Dream has truly become a nightmare, for them and for the world!
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Thank you very much, David, Adina, and Phill. The beat down goes on.
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The “God Bless America” has always bothered me. Especially when it is on a car bumper sticker. I have always thought, ‘shouldn’t it read: God Bless the whole world’ – or somehting like that. Then recently I was thinking, hasn’t spirituality taught us that praying for oneself is not the best prayer, but rather prayin for God’s own will which is wise beyond human measure(?) Also, it is taught that to pray for the well being of others, not the self is the “best” kind of prayer. IOW, that prayer of God Bless America is usually used in a selfish context and is inapropriate.
In a similar vein, I thought that the Mc Cain /Palin poster claiming, “COUNTRY FIRST” is also inapropriate because while we do need to stop our global imperial ambitions and focus on our own problems within our country (first), possibly, never before has an election held such a global significance. If American leaders take the war to innocent people (anywhere else)so that we don’t have to wage war “at home” is foolery. We are all at home on this Planet and good planets are hard to find (to quote another bumper sticker!). In fact a few times a year, we choke on the Toxic tradewinds that blow in from China and the Sahara desert among evironments that we share through the air!
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i prefer anything but ‘god bless’ that phrase has allowed more folks to wiggle out of stuff that they shouldn’t be allowed to- than i can count. david, i am getting the impression that a significant amount of the american population at least knows that palin shouldn’t be elected to anything having to do with a higher office. the people of alaska- will probably send her to the senate at some point. sigh. it is evident that she is either woefully uninformed and incurious or just dumber than a bag of hammers. perhaps both. what is also evident is that she is ambitious enough and power hungry enough to maintain a complete disregard for the constitution (whatever the world’s take is on it it is still allegedly the governing paper of america)and power grab as much as she can in any ‘elected’ position she holds. ah, but you missed michele bachman of minnesota attempting to single handedly resurrect the 1950′s mccarthyism and the north carolina representative hayes who attempted to lie his way out of saying that ‘liberals hate america’- it is getting uglier here. rampant racism unchecked and hatred for anyone who doesn’t agree with right wing bullshittery- vandalism is on the rise- and one poor woman actually got assaulted. but hey- america is all about freedom right?
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I will admit to you that I bought an Obama poster (at an Obama rally) that says “Hope” and (we) are not (brave)(not sure which word fits) enough to display it. These days nobody wants to attract some nutcase and get attacked or vandalised-or- have the predominant elitists put you on some kind of a list. I know this all sounds totally paranoid, unfree and therefore UnAmerican, but I do speak openly if asked. I have even possibly convinced a Republican not to vote for McCain.
Another way of looking at it and maybe more accurate is that, even though I will vote for Obama, the magical mystery tour is up. He will have alot to prove that he is not ‘corruption-lite’
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One more thing, it is interesting to note that nearly all the political signs on people’s homes and cars that I have seen between the couple of towns I relate to are overwhelmingly Republican. They seem to be the most vocal crowd, even though the polls say that Obama is leading somewhere near or well above 60/40. We are not the only ones Not hanging our political views out there these days. In fact based on these polls, we are in the majority. It is interesting that one of the towns is primarily democrat and liberal; and Alot! of the signs there said something to the effect of, “I am voting McCain and I am Unapologetic.” which leads me to think they have something to feel apologetic for. Word.
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I hope you’re right, Betmo. It’s been a long awakening. The political divisions that are showing are worrying though.
Grace, given the last eight years how anyone could vote for a Republican suggests to me derangement if not complete insanity! Given the bitterness that is showing I can understand why Americans had a Civil War!
Cheers and take care.
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Grace,
I see lots of Obama stickers. Sadly nut cases do exist, and you only need one…
Even though I see a lot of Obama stickers, I like you, see a lot more McCain stickers (i count the ones that say “nobama” as a McCain sticker).
I live in an ultra conservative town (German Americans mostly – in the day they supported LBJ but mostly because he was from the area…).
Q
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The best satire has, at its core, a kernel of truth. Bravo!
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The multi-thousand dollar cosmetic makeover of Palin, paid for by the RNC, reminds us how impossibly hard it is for hillbilly women to make it to the top of the political ruling class.
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Unfortunately, Swan, changing the covers on a book to embossed leather does nothing to alter its contents!
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Great laugh!
I liked best the moose that thought she was bluffing…
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Just an after thought…I wonder if in her term of office Palin will ever have a Clinton type affair…like her butler giving her head under the table while she addresses the nation on Xmas eve…
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Giorgio, welcome to my humble blog! Let’s hope that your question never has the chance of being tested!
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