Reuters reported today that, in Rome, a couple were caught having sex in a Confessional Box! The earth moved for them and, without doubt, it was Holy Earth.

The report went on to say that they’d been drinking all night (not in the Confessional Box and not the communion wine I’d hope) and…well they didn’t say what motivated them to engage in rumpy-pumpy during the service. Perhaps it was the holy spirit called Vodka or Bacardi or perhaps it was the Devil who temporarily possessed them, drove them to commit sins of the flesh.

The report did not say whether a priest was in the Confessional Box during the frantic activity but suffice to say that their cries of passion interrupted the service. Later they were cautioned for obscene acts in public and disturbing a religious function.

Later they apologized to the Bishop and he forgave them, even conducted a special Reparation service at a later stage. Now this Reparation service did not mean that the Confessional Box was damaged I trust. I mean disrupting the service is one thing but lots of heel marks and head butts on the wood panelling is another!

Whether they were married on not I don’t know. Perhaps, rather foolishly, they were trying to have an Immaculate Conception or at least one truly blessed by their God.

The moral of the story? Do not have rumpy-pumpy in a place of worship. God will not be pleased and neither will the clerics! And in a small space you may do yourselves an injury as well as suffer acute embarassment followed soon after by reparations. Besides it makes it hard for the priest to hear the confessions of other sinners and for them to hear their penances.

Stick to your bedroom and play it safe! Go to mass afterwards.