While Americans dither around trying to elect a new President to replace the World’s Dumbest, Most Dangerous Leader, the answer to their country’s dire political mess lives to the south, in Venezuela!
Yes, folks, Hugo, the darling of the South, is the answer that America is looking for. He will clean up their entrenched political corruption and wealth-based elitism in double-quick time.
To be fair, he won’t be able to be a full-time Commander in Chief because he has his own country to run and his own people to look after. But even as a part-time CinC, he will work miracles in the detestable snake pit that America has become under the Repuglicans and the Demoncrats and their endless parade of mentally and/or morally-challenged Presidents.
First thing he’ll probably do is to nationalize the media. Murdoch and his ilk will be sent to Guantanamo Bay for some urgent re-education. They will be introduced to the word ‘truth’. Fox News will see some retrenchments among their crops of so-called ‘experts’ and shockjocks. Larry King will be retired before he passes away in the middle of a show and so will John McCain.
Next Hugo will introduce a wealth tax of mammoth proportions and he’ll close down all the tax loopholes that enable the rich to become obscenely rich. Tax lawyers will be imprisoned on hard labour in an effort to teach them the difference between work and fraud. Then he’ll nationalize all the major American corporations, the ones that are polluting our world into oblivion while simultaneously ripping off the world’s poor. Their profits will be used to provide free health care for Americans and aid for poorer countries.
Then he’ll sell off all of America’s armaments for scrap metal. Yes folks, the world’s greatest army will be no more. Its mountains of killing devices will be melted down to become ploughs and hair clippers. He’ll also reinstate the division between Church and State, put all the Zionists and Christian Fundamentalists in stocks, ban the wearing of clerical robes, and turn all religious buildings into shelters for the homeless and the poor (which seems to accord more with what their purpose should be).
He’ll change the American flag of course. It will have a large dove on it, one carrying an olive branch! Children in America will be taught that they are world citizens, that they are no more important than any other person, that their country is just one of many nations and has no special entitlements or rights.
Yes folks, under Hugo, America will see a new dawning. It will become loved again, not feared! It will seek peace not endless war.
Please, Hugo, would you consider it? America needs you!
This is the most perverse joke I have seen in a long time on the web. If you want fiscal mismanagement, an education system which used to be among the top in the world only a few decades ago to now be on the verge of state-installed indoctrination, lack of staples from the basic food basket, no production of advanced technologies, censorship of opposition media, nepotism far worse than what has ever existed in the US, horrible hospital systems (contrary to what the fidelistas would love to say) to which the average Venezuelan has no access, lack of transparency, lack of accountability, giving scholarships to Nicaraguans when many Venezuelans don’t have enough money to study, subsidizing transportation in London –one of the richest cities in the world– when many Venezuelans don’t have enough food to feed their families, massive corruption (look at the Anderson Case and the now-infamous “Suitcasegate” involving Venezuelan-American Guido Antonini Wilson), the government’s unwillingness to repair much government-subsidized housing in ranchos because these units lack a roof and thus are not technically houses, the Supreme Court’s PERVERSE ruling which allows rapists and murderers to get out of jail early based on their alleged –yet unproven– commitment and desire to be better citizens, the funding of terrorist groups throughout the region (Colombia, Mexico, Nicaragua) as well as permitting known terrorist groups to freely operate in Venezuelan territory (las FARC, Hamas)… shall I go on?
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Kate, thanks for your ‘comment’.
At least Venezuela isn’t hated and feared! At least Hugo can walk around the streets without an army of spooks to protect him! At least Venezuela has some friends in South America! At least Venezuela offers no nuclear threat and it doesn’t run around the world invading and occupying sovereign countries for oil, and it doesn’t have imperial ambitions to control the world, and it’s not building military bases every which place, and it’s not into rendition and torture, and it doesn’t contribute most of the world’s greenhouse gases, and it doesn’t consume most of the world’s oil, and it doesn’t have racial problems with its black and Mexican population, and it doesn’t have a totally corrupt political system, one controlled by multi-national corporations and Christian Fundamentalists and Zionists, and it doesn’t support a rogue nation (Israel) which is into genocide and land-stealing and the killing of children and starving people, etc, etc.
Do you work for the White House?
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Hey, I understand your thought process, but I’d fear the same thing in the end.
Of course, gw is the saddest and most pathetic leader we’ve ever had. But he still runs on, like the EverReady Rabbit! ; (
If you see an automatic, even a refurbished Capresso Machine (we have an Impressa S9, refurbished) and it was cheaper and have had it for 2 yrs with no problems.
Thanks for popping by. Cheers!
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Dave, thanks for your “response.” No, I definitely don’t work for the White House; how obtuse do you think I am.
Have you ever seen how Chavez walks around? He’s constantly guarded by CUBANS because he is utterly paranoid and refuses to have Venezuelan security. And yeah, Venezuela has friends in South America: Nicaragua, led by a child rapist; Bolivia, led by an incompetent president; and Ecuador, lead by a Chavez lackey. All three are dependent on Venezuelan oil dollars; some friends.
I’ll give you one thing: it certainly doesn’t invade other countries for oil, it clearly has no need. And yet, with the largest oil reserves outside the Middle East, the mismanagement of PDVSA since 1976 (and subsequent firing of 20,000 employees who actually had a background in the area in 2002) has led the state-run company to be run into the ground. So, the fact that Venezuela has such reserves is virtually moot because it has been unable to capitalize on its own natural resources. Racial problems DO exist in Venezuela, as they do in many Latin American countries, but they are not like in the US. Do a bit of research into the concept known as “shadism” and you’ll see exactly what I am talking about.
You don’t think Venezuela has a totally corrupt political system? Come on Dave, you can do better than that! Have you seen how many local “elections” are run? Have you seen the way Chavez runs the PSUV? I will not exculpate those from the opposition in this light, as they too are quite corrupt. Have a look at the state of Barinas and see who is in charge there; see who is squatting on land, and then illegally taking it over. From there, then we can begin to discuss corruption.
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David
I’m sorry, but I’m not going to use pretty words for making my statement. At first I thought it was a joke, and I even laughed. Then in your answer to Kate’ comment I noticed you were serious and I could not believe this display of stupidity. If you want to criticize Bush’ politics, welcome, we can do that together and I bet you will be amazed of how bitter my words against the man might be. But from there to cheer my president because you fully believe in all the propaganda you have heard of the man, but over all only because you poorly think that all enemies of your enemies are your friends…then I’m sorry, I can’t join you in the path. Not because I can’t share views or argue with Chavez supporters but because it is lameless to argue with people who have no clue about my country, about the revolution, about how we really live without the money my government spend in the propaganda that you trust to.
Excuses about my limited english, and also about the strong language I used. I could not help it. Regards, Julia.
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Coffee, hi! The same end result? Probably, because power corrupts. As I’ve argued many times, that’s why the office of President in America should be abolished.
Kate and Julia, while I value your input into this post keep in mind that it was about America and its corrupt political system, its imperialism, its dog-eat-dog capitalist system, its unequal division of wealth, its never-ending warmongering, its huge gap between the rich and poor, its racial problems, etc.
Chavez is not without fault (who is?) and I didn’t claim that he was. But his more leftwing, more socialist orientation contrasts strongly with the ugly rightwing extremes of American politics generally and those of the Repuglicans in particular.
Julia, your English is fine and I welcome you to this site. I hope you will tell us more about your country, give us an insider’s perspective.
Cheers.
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I’m surprised to see the negative responses to this post.
I’d welcome a president who was willing to nationalize major industries in the United States and save us from being used up and tossed out by multinational corporations. If that previos statement doesn’t make sense to you, please consider becoming familiar with the economic history of the Americas. How much better to use our natural wealth to enrich the poor than the rich!
I don’t think some of you were incorrect in sensing humor in this post. The measures Hugo might take against dissenters were exaggerated since it is the US, not Venezuela, that officially sanctions torture.
David, Kate seems like she’s here to pick a fight, not have a conversation. Keep up these great posts and don’t be distracted by folks with right-wing talking points.
Julia, I appreciate your perspective and would like to hear more. I would also point out that I appreciate Chavez not because he’s an enemy of Bush (that is obviously rhetoric), but because of what he is doing for the poor. I hope you don’t believe the propaganda of US news that never mentions the poor of this country, who are dying in the streets of my city because of the culture and economy of this country.
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Your comments are spot on,Kate blames Mr.Chavez for everything and that sounds too much like republican talking points.
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Matt and Basil, I admit that I was suspicious when Kate then Julia appeared and began attacking Chavez rather than addressing the issues that I was raising.
It’s terrible that one has to be suspicious of all new commenters but I guess a right-wing Government that is into torture and using nukes,etc, wouldn’t worry too much about paying a few people to infiltrate the internet and place a few red herrings to try to throw off their more vocal detractors.
We live in precarious times!
Cheers.
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David, excellent post
Tongue-in-cheek perhaps, but the point is well-taken. I realize Mr. Chavez has his share of foibles that would not sit well with many Americans. His lean towards socialism (ooh, that dirty word!) wouldn’t sit well with the brainwashed American electorate that has been spoon-fed the Rethuglican mantra that “socialism is evil” for the last several decades. (Although if you took away social security and Medicare and Medicaid, they would be the loudest to bitch and protest, despite the fact that those 3 things are the purest definition of socialism).
Chavez would indeed make America a once-again world-loved nation. He would, indeed, cure us of our self-indulgent pride and nationalistic fever wherein we all believe that God does, indeed, “bless America” over all other nations on earth. What a shame he can’t actually be President here
What this country needs is a good healthy dose of reality, and humility. Pride always goeth before the Fall. Which nation on earth is more full of pride than America?
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