"Proud American rifle owner with weapon disguised with beer cans!"
John McCain, during a speech to the National Rifle Association, warned Americans of the dangers of electing Obama or Billary. He said they, being left-wing, would undermine the precious, immutable, fundamental right of right-thinking, peaceable Americans to bear arms.
This warning has sent shock waves all over the Union and led to the frantic cleaning and oiling of rifles and handguns and angry mutterings of, "Just let them dangfool, godless, commo lefties try it!" Gun purchases are expected to double and some manufacturers have already begun to increase production.
Yes, folks, in the U.S, having an arsenal of weapons in your basement alongside the moose heads and the bar is a sacred part of what it means to be an American. Men are judged on the basis of how many weapons they have, how big they are, how many rounds they hold, how many bullets they can release in a minute, what calibre the bullets are and what power the scope is. And if you have night vision glasses as well, then you truly are a man amongst men.
Why John McCain doesn’t appear at rallies wearing a coonskin cap and a muzzle-loading rifle casually draped over his shoulder I’ll never know. Perhaps its weight would wear him out. A pair of ivory-handled sixguns in tooled leather holsters would probably be better.
Yes, folks, guns and Americans are synonymous. In fact, I don’t know why nature hasn’t evolved to the stage where, over there, a gun replaces a human hand. Just imagine, at birth, the proud parents saying, "Isn’t he beautiful and don’t you just love his little gat. Looks like it’ll grow into a Smith and Wesson automatic."
Probably just a matter of time!
I can never begin to understand the desire to have as many guns sloshing around the country as possible, and then try to justify it by saying that it makes them safer. That logic just isn’t able to sit in my brain whatsoever.
Reply
There is no logic to it, Lucy, just silly indoctrination and a total lack of maturity. Cheers.
Reply
Oh, c’mon people. Deal with the psychosis, not the superficial symptoms. Guns aren’t a problem per se. In fact, those “peaceloving” Canadians own as many guns per capita as USans. They just don’t regard them as extensions of their male members.
Reply
Hey, Arvy, thanks for calling by. I lived in Canada for three years. Great place!
Your observation about ‘as extensions of their male members,’ is, unfortunately, very close to the truth.
Cheers.
Reply
It’s very strange. Both countries share a similar early history and even a certain amount of “cultural” background, but they seem to have adopted quite different attitudes toward social behavior and problem solving. I sometimes wonder if the Revolutionary War was really such a great idea, especially considering its ultimate outcome in terms of tyrannical despots and other elements of the national psyche.
Reply
Assuming you mean by the Revolutionary War the Civil War, Arvy, I agree that it has damaged the national psyche and entrenched violence in the American mindset.
How to curb it is the big dilemma for both America and the rest of the world.
Cheers.
Reply
No, I meant the Revolutionary War, or the War of Independence if you prefer.
I should add, however, that I was being somewhat facetious, although it does sometimes seem that USans celebrate their origins in violent rebellion against one royal tyrant only to create their own whose disregard for constitutional limits, regal proclamations (a.k.a. “signing statements”) and taxation without true represeantation are questionable improvements at best.
Reply
I resent this post for categorizing ALL Americans by the stereotyped “Bubba” goon. There are SOME idiots like that but they do NOT represent Americans in general. I am a native Texan, grew up with people who possessed firearms and NOT A ONE EVER fit the biased, unkind description you have given here. I do not know a single Texan nor American who has a moose head on his wall, who speaks in such a manner nor who acts in such a manner. I am disappointed in you, David. I would NEVER categorize Australians in the unflattering or denigrating manner of some of the jokes or comments I have heard people make of Australians.
Reply
Oh come now, worried american. Do you not get out much? Go to a local bar and announce to the room “George Bush is a traitor, and America is just a huge corporate whore.” Then try to count to 2 before you get your ass kicked by the 40 rednecks in the place.
You must hang out at fern-dressed late-loving liberal-type coffee shops. Because if you REALLY talked to everyday, ordinary Americans, about the REAL issues, you would see what David is saying. There are tens of millions of gun-loving, gun-toting, rethuglican, right-wing, redneckm xenophobic, “all sand-niggers are terrusts” American good-ole boys (and girls) who would rip you a new asshole as soon as give up their bud light, if you so much as MENTIONED “gun control,” “torture is wrong,” or “The President should obey the law.”
what the hell America are YOU from??
-Demonstorm from Illinois (i.e., podunk central)
Reply
Obviously, Demonstorm, you and I DO travel in different circles. Since you have such intimate knowledge of such people, that must be YOUR social circle. MY social circles overlap sometimes, sometimes do not, and encompass hard core poverty peoples and very well to do upper class. In short, a cross section of Americana involving numerous sub-cultures. I AM outspoken about my views re: anti-Bush, anti-war, anti-corruption in government, anti-torture, PRO-humanity, including “sand niggers”, african americans, asians, anglo americans and even narrow minded, biased individuals. Rebuttals are sometimes loud and acrimonious in some circles (polite in others) and so far my nether regions are quite intact.
I would question your stats of “tens of millions” of the bubba type goons. And may I advise you to seek a better circle of friends? BTW, I am from the United States of America.
Reply
worried – tens of millions is quite accurate. Check out any of the latest polls you like. Despite an approval rating lower than Nixon’s during Watergate and a majoriy of Americans favoring a precipitous withdrawal from Iraq, that still leaves tens of millions – around 30% of the electorate – who are bigtime Bush-backing, “fuck the rest of the world, America is God’s own nation, bomb em all to hell and back!” people who worship their guns, their Rethuglican ideology, their capitalist altar that they bow down at, their gay- and anyone-who-is-not-white-and-American-bashing enthusiasm, and their belief that violence and suppression are the best ways to take care of anyone who disagrees with their zealotry.
Look the polls up my friend. We enlightened progressives are still in the minority. There will always be a lot of those types of Americans I just described, which is why Bush got elected in 04 despite already having committed an outrageous litany of well-documented crimes and constitution-shredding by that point.
Americans, for the most part, are idiotic sheep. Surprising that you don’t know this by now.
Reply
I’ve never driven or owned a car and therefore I am qualified to tell you:
1. that you are a fool for wanting to own one.
2. that you should not be allowed to own one.
3. we would all be better off if there were no cars.
4. cars are often stolen and misused.
5. cars are used as large pudenda when both male and female drivers are on the road.
I’m sure you agree with me, right?
Reply
Can’t argue too hard about that, Dave.
Of course, cars, through advertising and manufacturing innovation, have been turned into something they’re not.
If we all still drove the original Fords or V.W.s, things might not be so bad!
Reply